“31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:31-32
What’s up with all the Sin?
One thing I have learned from reading and studying the bible is that the writers of the epistle letters spent an awful lot of time talking about problem sins in the church. There is so much practical direction given in these letters. It was eye-opening for me to realize that the reasoning wasn’t primarily so that churches and Christians could establish a code of doctrine to run the church by. What I mean is, when Paul addressed lying and immorality in his letters, it wasn’t just for the sake of writing a how-to manual on church management. People were actually committing these sins in the church.
It was no shock to the Apostles that sinners would, well… sin… and sin badly sometimes! So, they wrote the letters to help correct these issues. See, sin is expected from church people, but sin is not excusable and the writings clearly convey that sins in the church need to be corrected for the sake of the people and for righteousness and growth. If you have a heart for God, you will be thankful for the instructions in the bible.
I have a dang good reason!
In the scripture we’re looking at, Paul conveys a switch of progression for us that I think we have a hard time with. He tells us to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander be put away along with malice. I don’t know about you but all of these things can really puff me up inside and they have NEVER produced positive results. It is interesting that something so evil as this list of emotions and feelings is something we so easily allow. We defend our right to feel these feelings because it’s possible we had been unfairly treated or have had our rights infringed upon. At any rate, we allow these feelings and emotions to pressurize in us slowly over time.
“He can’t talk to ME that way! Who does he think he is?”
“How is it I am ALWAYS overlooked when the church is picking someone to help with _________”
“All the guys seem to fawn over THAT girl? if they only knew what she really was like.”
“Did you hear about SO-AND-SO? Something bad happened to them and it’s about time!”
“They didn’t ask for my help. They must think something bad about me.”
The Time-Bomb
We often feel justified in the way we think. When you harbor sinful feelings like these, they don’t remain controlled. They will eventually rupture into other attitudes and reactions. When we give in and leave space for our hearts to be devilish, something gets altered inside. We begin to accommodate the darkness in us. Where this leads in time is isolation. Consider this scenario: if there is a brother or sister you begin to feel this way about, you will begin to avoid them. When other brothers and sisters don’t feel the same as you, you separate from them. When sermons and the Bible convict you, you separate from it. Then you begin to feel like there is a secret vendetta; covert meetings and discussions organized to set you aside.
Over the years I have observed that people in melt-down mode have one commonality between them. All of them have it in one degree or another: isolation… disconnection. Eventually, that person will explode, no holds barred, writing off and tarnishing every friendship and relationship they once held dear. I have seen people even do it to their own spouses and children.
Nothing Good Will Come of It
Wake up, guys. Big explosions like these are always fueled by this crop of permitted feelings inside: bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, and malice. James adds in his first chapter, “19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.” The anger of man does produce something: self-righteousness. That’s about it.
In my past and even in the present but to a much lesser degree, I would go through dark times in my life where rough feelings would stew within. I would become cynical and suspicious about what people were doing around me. It drove me to feel like I couldn’t trust anybody. Isolation was the result and I felt like everyone around me was trying to stick it to me in some way or that they just didn’t care about me. I still get duped by my emotions today but the presence of the Holy Spirit and the practical thinking of the Bible offer help to re-focus… dispel the pressure… disarm the bomb.
What’s a person to do?
Paul in Ephesians 4 gives us something simple to do. He says to “let” these feelings and emotions “be put away.” It’s like he is saying “turn it off!” and that’s not easy, right? He doesn’t stop there (because Paul is not a moron). He knows it requires a change of mind; correct perspective. We need the Holy Spirit to empower us to replace destructive thinking with correct thinking. He goes on to instruct us to “be” something else. He says “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving.” Here’s where Paul’s direction amps up, and follow me by assessing your life with these questions:
Are you a sinner? -yes. Are you born again by the grace of Christ? -yes. Before salvation, where you aimed for hell? -yes. Did you do vile things? -yes. How vile? -Extremely vile. Did you think vile things? -yes. Often? -yes! So, listen… we are to use that measuring stick (how much God forgave us in His kindness and tenderheartedness) to measure our kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness toward others. When you contemplate how much God forgave you, you cannot help but to humbly forgive those around you. The side effects of this are unity, fellowship, and love. Inclusion… family… connection. The death of Christ for each of us should level us… it disarms us… to humbly love.
