Recently I saw a covenant member and elder leave his church and will not be returning. And it was beautiful…

Certainly, over the years we have seen and been on the receiving end of the mayhem of someone who said they were a part of us and loved us only to eventually wreak havoc as they firebombed the church spiritually speaking. We all individually and corporately have been stunned by what can only be seen as demonic behavior come forth from people who feigned unity and love and played on until they wanted a power position they did not get, wanted a sin they could not resist, wanted attention they were not getting, etc. The list of reasons is quite long and sordid, and not really the point of this article. The question we all were, and perhaps are left with is this: Can a person leave a church without having to roll a grenade into the room on their way out? I for one was beginning to doubt. The lies and evil behavior that I witnessed throughout 3 decades of ministry certainly would excuse my skepticism. I even remember one woman telling me that Satan told her and her husband to leave. And then she left. Ya,  creepy for sure…

Paul Simon sang a song back in 1975 called “50 Way to Leave Your Lover” that maybe we apply to this issue and put out as a church tri-fold:

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Hmmm. Nice worldly mantra. It even rhymes. One is left wondering where Jesus…the Holy Spirit…yes even rudimentary Christianity is on all of this. But back to my initial remark about the beautiful departure…

While visiting a church in Louisiana during a recent missions trip down there, we happened to attend on Sunday when the church…especially their Covenant Body, was saying goodbye to a family who were Covenant members, active church participants, founding participants, and he was even a church elder and board member. Over what we understood to be a lengthy period of prayer… with the church fellowship, seeking counsel… with the church fellowship, they had come to the conclusion that God was directing the man to take a position as a federal law enforcement officer and would be moving to Washington DC. On that Sunday we were privileged as outsiders, to witness a deeply insider event. The family came upfront and the pastor and elders laid hands on them in prayer. There were emotional words of memories and thanks. There was embracing. There was weeping. There was unity and love and most of all, there was God.

I know that some might be uncomfortable exposing this dirty laundry that certainly is a quiet pain and an embarrassing reality within almost every church in America. But I am reminded that God seemed to never sweep such mud under the rugs of history. There we have it in black and white…in the most published book in history: David’s adultery and murder, Moses’ anger, and sin, Noah got drunk which led to some messy family issues, Peter’s fearful denials of Christ, etc, etc! The reality is that there will always be those who will find their way into a church fellowship with a lot of different reasons to be there and faithfully loving, serving, growing, discipling is not on their list. Perhaps we could say that being in a church doesn’t emphatically declare one’s salvation standing, but their departure certainly casts a bright light! (Not my judgment…that is the emphatic declaration of scripture itself!)

Truth be told, the way that people who call themselves Christians treat others who call themselves Christians is tainting the pool for sure. Really…if that’s the way it is inside, who would want it? The fact is, church people are notorious for bad behavior. Some church people are just downright mean. Why is this? In some recent surveys, it appears that most people in our culture believe that Christians are about as trustworthy as car salesmen and lawyers.

I myself am certainly far from a perfect man and many of the greater church people I know behave in far worse ways than many of the unbelievers I know. I am always amazed at the grace, love, support, and forgiveness that is found among the “unchurched” which is rarely found among those who go to church.

Sometimes our behavior is a result of our understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness. We feel that because God forgives us for all our sins, we can treat others in terrible ways, and God will still forgive us. It’s “pre-planned forgiveness.” We’ll just square it with God after we burn down the village. While it is true that God will forgive us for such behavior, we need to know that such is not a “get out of jail free card.”

Scripture speaks much about our relationships and right standing with one another on matters such as this: Matthew 5:23-24, Luke 17:3-4; Ephesians 4:32; and Colossians 3:13 are just a few. We cannot argue that if our relationship with the Lord is right, then our relationships with other people will fall in line. Thus if relationships with other people fail to be Christ-like, then why should we think that He is indeed a part of us?

In the Jewish world, on Yom Kippur, Jews ask God for forgiveness, but “on the day before” Yom Kippur, called Erev Yom Kippur, Jews ask forgiveness from one another. It seems that there is something to the understanding that “you can’t ask forgiveness of God until you’ve asked forgiveness of people you sinned against.”

The events of that day in that Louisiana church were both sad and joyous. I felt their pain…all of them…but I also felt their love and unity. I felt Jesus in their midst and in their handling of all of it. And if I wasn’t a Christian and had stumbled into that service that day, I undoubtedly would be left thinking… “wow, these people have something different than the world.” And maybe, “I think I would like to have some of that please…”